Embracing Change

I had a rather interesting discussion with my Dad last week. I told him that I had filed for divorce and that I was planning on moving on with my life. He said to me, "it's time to stop being a Chameleon. Find who you are and don't change that." I think that truer words were never spoken, and those words pierced me. I realized that I have changed the person I really am deep down inside when I have been in past relationships. I've been so desperate for someone to like me, or me to fit into their world, that I haven't paid attention to my own desperate desires and needs. So this is my opportunity to do this. It's a very refreshing and scary experience at the same time. I have to have the confidence in myself to do whatever I want to and know that if I have my priorities in the right place for myself, I will be able to succeed and be happy. I now have the difficulty to face that I will have to make myself happy and that I am the only one responsible for this. I know this is kind of a weird post coming from me, but I feel like I've had a long time to reflect on this and I just needed to verbalize my feelings right now. I have friends that write these blogs just as an update on their life, or as a scrapbook of their day, and then I have friends that delve into the deep thinking and use this as a journaling tool. While I really have no intention of journaling my deepest darkest secrets for the entire blogging world to see, I do feel that it's appropriate to let people know what struggles I face on a regular basis. So this is one of them. Hopefully I'll be able to go through this trial in my life, and rely on my faith to get me through whatever is thrown my way. I feel like I've overcome a lot of issues lately, but I realize that my trials are only as hard as I make them. I can come through on the other side perfectly fine, I just have to have faith.