The challenge

So I've been issued a challenge. I am currently undergoing the challenge of weight loss with a few of my friend. Visit "conquering Goliath" on my friends list to see the information on the challenge. I'm really excited to have some help in this category. it's always encouraging to have friends that are facing the same challenges you are on a regular basis and that can help with suggestions and information. I began my weight loss challenge about 10 months ago and have currently lost 34 pounds (I haven't done my weekly weigh in yet though). I have noticed a change in my size, my energy level, the food I want to eat and my overall appearance. My mom brought something up to me the other day regarding this though. She said I have seemed to be "consumed" by the thought of losing weight. I don't think it's a consumption as much as it is that I was ready for a change in my life and this is the first one I wanted to make. I have been heavy all my life and I am sick of it! I'm taking my life into my own hands and I will lose the weight I want and this is giving me the self esteem boost that I dearly need at this point in my life. Besides, what a better "hobby" than fitness? I have joined multiple fitness websites, and am a subscriber to Fitness magazine. I think this is a great way to fill your days and it not only boosts your self esteem, but it helps your health and your overall outlook on life. It's like the quote from a favorite movie of mine "exercise produces endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people just don't kill their husbands."

Embracing Change

I had a rather interesting discussion with my Dad last week. I told him that I had filed for divorce and that I was planning on moving on with my life. He said to me, "it's time to stop being a Chameleon. Find who you are and don't change that." I think that truer words were never spoken, and those words pierced me. I realized that I have changed the person I really am deep down inside when I have been in past relationships. I've been so desperate for someone to like me, or me to fit into their world, that I haven't paid attention to my own desperate desires and needs. So this is my opportunity to do this. It's a very refreshing and scary experience at the same time. I have to have the confidence in myself to do whatever I want to and know that if I have my priorities in the right place for myself, I will be able to succeed and be happy. I now have the difficulty to face that I will have to make myself happy and that I am the only one responsible for this. I know this is kind of a weird post coming from me, but I feel like I've had a long time to reflect on this and I just needed to verbalize my feelings right now. I have friends that write these blogs just as an update on their life, or as a scrapbook of their day, and then I have friends that delve into the deep thinking and use this as a journaling tool. While I really have no intention of journaling my deepest darkest secrets for the entire blogging world to see, I do feel that it's appropriate to let people know what struggles I face on a regular basis. So this is one of them. Hopefully I'll be able to go through this trial in my life, and rely on my faith to get me through whatever is thrown my way. I feel like I've overcome a lot of issues lately, but I realize that my trials are only as hard as I make them. I can come through on the other side perfectly fine, I just have to have faith.

It's Official

It's official. I am getting a divorce. After a year of fighting and 6 months of separation, Chris and I have finally called it quits. It's been a hard battle and a very taxing emotional experience, but I feel it will get better from here. But, for the cause of keeping everyone up to date on my life, I figured I'd write it down so there won't be any confusion later. I have come to terms with everything,and I actually made the official decision. It's been hard, but I did it.

Not much to tell

There's not much to tell right now, but since it's been awhile since my last post, I figured I'd just write a little. Things in life are really challenging right now. It's always hard to run into someone and explain how things are going in life. On one hand they are going extremely well, and on the other, they are miserable. I am more confused than ever right now, but I'm hoping that soon enough I will have the courage, strength, and comfort to make a really hard decision. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and both of us have been at different points in our lives regarding the gospel. We were both raised in it, but have had our little speed bumps and twists in the path here and there. We're both at a point right now where we're ready to commit heart, mind, body and soul to the gospel and believe that it is the right path for us. We were talking about how nice it is to have girlfriends that have the same standards, beliefs and values finally. It's really hard trying to keep to the straight and narrow with so much temptation to veer. Having those close girlfriends allows for you to keep each other on track. I just hadn't realized how influential my friends are on me and how much strength they give me. So to all my friends out there - Thank you!!!